28 Jokes That'll Have Any Indian Woman Laughing For Hours

1.

Poonam Khatri@poonamkhatri

Every relationship is a lesson. Like one of my exes taught me how to download YouTube videos. Other taught me how to update iOS. All good.

11:34 PM - Jun 6, 2014

•  1818 Replies
 
•  240240 Retweets
 
•  222222 likes

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2.

Lola Kuttiamma@Priya_Menon

Wonder when maid looks at me when I'm working out and thinks, bhen ki lodi, khud jhaadoo poncha karegi toh yeh sab karne ki zaroorat nahin

10:52 AM - Sep 13, 2015

•  3232 Replies
 
•  288288 Retweets
 
•  247247 likes

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3.

bangsty@Creepowoman

In real life, the only Titanic pose a man ever does is when he's being frisked at malls.

7:58 PM - May 25, 2013

•  2323 Replies
 
•  348348 Retweets
 
•  198198 likes

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4.

@Oinkoo

he: can I call you?
she: no, mummy ghar pe hain.
he: but tum to hostel mein ho na?
she: haan, par mummy to ghar pe hain na.

2:48 PM - Mar 29, 2013

•  3434 Replies
 
•  1,4181,418 Retweets
 
•  869869 likes

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5.

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world is a fuck@4ngery

Sup geometry

12:43 AM - Sep 7, 2014

•  1616 Replies
 
•  582582 Retweets
 
•  462462 likes

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6.

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anymysha@anymysha

What's your multiple orgasm style?

7:02 PM - Oct 29, 2016

•  1616 Replies
 
•  160160 Retweets
 
•  217217 likes

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7.

nin@NautankiNinja

When a cockroach gets inside your bra

3:02 PM - Apr 17, 2016

•  8888 Replies
 
•  550550 Retweets
 
•  477477 likes

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8.

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a kite@pigeonladyX

when u finally arrive at a decision that all the voices in ur head agree with

7:25 PM - Mar 7, 2017

•  44 Replies
 
•  438438 Retweets
 
•  511511 likes

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9.

Megha@ammoloaded

To-do list: Checking available usernames for gmail account before naming my kids.

1:32 PM - Jul 28, 2013

•  1010 Replies
 
•  178178 Retweets
 
•  127127 likes

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10.

aych@mumbaiifreak

There are hugs,and then there are lag-ja-gale-ke-phir-ye-haseen-raat-ho-na-ho hugs.

12:15 PM - Aug 16, 2013

•  66 Replies
 
•  282282 Retweets
 
•  219219 likes

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11.

Sense of tumor@dashhtweets

Behind every ":D" there is a "ok now lets stop the conversation here"

1:43 PM - Jul 9, 2013

•  99 Replies
 
•  285285 Retweets
 
•  133133 likes

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12.

Priyanka Lahiri@lahirip

While searching for one soulmate, you will find many assholemates

11:22 PM - Aug 23, 2015

•  4646 Replies
 
•  685685 Retweets
 
•  472472 likes

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13.

pinku@LEDtvn

People say that marriage brings spice, tears, happiness, flavour & taste to life. I believe paani-puri does a better job at cheaper cost.

10:37 AM - Nov 28, 2013

•  4545 Replies
 
•  1,1401,140 Retweets
 
•  663663 likes

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14.

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Purva@thatobesewoman

Me: I'll never speak to that jerk again.
Inner me: aise bolte hain apne hone wale bachche ke papa ke baare mein.

7:39 PM - Nov 25, 2016

•  77 Replies
 
•  182182 Retweets
 
•  242242 likes

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15.

frances heheh@amyoosed

So, basically you keep muttering to yourself "what am I doing with my life" from age 20 to 30 and then you give up right?

1:31 PM - Jun 20, 2016

•  1313 Replies
 
•  158158 Retweets
 
•  114114 likes

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16.

Prajakta M.@SocialBitterfly

*one day before marriage*
Parents: Don't talk to the groom. Don't see him. Don't think.

*one day after marriage*
Parents: BABIES, BABIESS!

9:57 AM - Apr 9, 2014

•  3131 Replies
 
•  1,1531,153 Retweets
 
•  784784 likes

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17.

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NRK@PWNeha

When you're at the gynecologist's clinic.

7:55 PM - Oct 12, 2016

•  1414 Replies
 
•  166166 Retweets
 
•  245245 likes

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18.

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Pffftt@Kalamwali_Bai

How to stay single all your life: Tinder edition

5:24 PM - Dec 15, 2015

•  9696 Replies
 
•  1,5331,533 Retweets
 
•  1,0911,091 likes

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19.

Pallavi@PolyesterPalla

My aunt's nickname for her husband is 'listen'.

4:02 PM - Mar 11, 2013

•  2828 Replies
 
•  221221 Retweets
 
•  156156 likes

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20.

mediocre gandhi@mediocregandhi

So what if Kim K can balance a glass on her ass..Indian men can balance the whole tea set on their bellies.#ChaiNashtaTable

10:33 AM - Nov 22, 2014

•  1919 Replies
 
•  225225 Retweets
 
•  143143 likes

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21.

rekt-angle मेरा वाला भी लम्बा@aNuSFW

It is quite okay to be a dick if everyone around you sucks.

9:57 AM - Sep 4, 2015

•  2626 Replies
 
•  848848 Retweets
 
•  725725 likes

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22.

Meh.@MissTumbledore

Indian mothers have the cure for gluten allergy and lactose intolerance. It's called "ek thappad padega toh sab khaya jaaega!"

9:13 PM - Oct 6, 2015

•  2121 Replies
 
•  769769 Retweets
 
•  530530 likes

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23.

Ankita@lady_gabbar

Date a taller guy. He'll always see you from the angle you take a selfie from .

7:46 PM - Dec 30, 2016

•  1818 Replies
 
•  180180 Retweets
 
•  202202 likes

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24.

Cathartic Screams@Just_Screams

Mere saamne waali khidki mein, ek bhen ka lauda rehta hai.

11:46 PM - Dec 26, 2015

•  4444 Replies
 
•  516516 Retweets
 
•  487487 likes

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25.

God of Tits and Scotch@SuchAMisfit

Dad's speed of changing TV channel during a kiss scene is faster than the guy telling "Mutual fund investments are subject to market risk"

8:32 PM - Mar 4, 2017

•  88 Replies
 
•  295295 Retweets
 
•  364364 likes

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26.

Rega Jha

✔@RegaJha

mom: save money, work out more, find a boy, get health checkups, be an adult

me: I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative

11:22 AM - Jul 18, 2016

•  33 Replies
 
•  883883 Retweets
 
•  1,3111,311 likes

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27.

ＳＵＰＲＩＹＡ

✔@supaarwoman

Of course I have friends! All 10 seasons of them!

2:00 PM - Nov 28, 2011

•  88 Replies
 
•  245245 Retweets
 
•  157157 likes

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Sonali Thakker@SonaliThakker

*Going through my contact list*

Dad: Beta, yeh jo Tinder surname waale hai matlab woh kaunsi caste ke hote hai?

4:22 PM - Mar 26, 2016

•  2121 Replies
 
•  542542 Retweets
 
•  484484 likes

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